Our Clinical Psychologist, Ashima, has written our latest blog post – all about relationships.
Is there really something called a “Happily Married Life”?
This is a question which has been put to me many times in my life. And perhaps some of you can relate to it as well.
The truth is…There is truth in being happily married, and there is truth in finding your happily ever-after. But we have to understand a marriage in baby steps, and we have to see through the differences and similarities couples share. That is the secret to be decoded.
One of the biggest landmarks in an individual’s life, is marriage. It can be ‘Heaven’ or ‘Hell’.
It takes compromise, time and joint effort to build a successful marriage. Dealing with today’s high paced lifestyle can often be overwhelming and, at times, cause a strain on the couple’s relationship.
It is very easy to tip work-life balance and start taking each other for granted. It is very easy to project our stress from work or other daily chores onto each other without meaning it.
Marriage brings many challenges for both men and women. Living with another person day and night for the rest of your life is very different from dating that person. Leaving one’s own cosy zone, stepping into each other’s personal space and daily routine, figuring out roles, time to spend together, expectations, decision-making processes and balancing work with one’s new marital life are big challenges.
For this reason, relationship counselling or seeking support when you feel you cannot do this alone is always a good option.
Knowing that there is help and support and that you are not the only one’s going through this is very satisfying.
5 Tips for Better Relationships
1. Play it as a Team
Both of you have to understand that now there is no more ’YOU’ and ‘I’, its just ‘WE’ and ‘US’. Knowing that you both function as a team and not separate entities is vital for a good marriage.
2. Mindful Communication
Everyone knows communication as an important aspect. However, when it is done mindfully, it brings it to another level. Mindful communication implies paying attention, listening to your partner and talking openly about your feelings, hopes and desires. And when your partner is talking to you, try not to dismiss your partner or his/her feelings. Sometimes, you just need to be ‘ALL EARS’ to your spouse and not try to ‘fix things’. Just be there for each other. Without honest and open communication, no team would progress.
3. Mr. or Mrs. Always Right: Remember that you play it as a team
In our relationships, we often indulge in conflicts with our partners. However, most conflicts can act as building blocks to understand your partner and his/her needs. Resolving conflicts can also help your partner understand you and your needs by expressing, sharing and receiving information in a positive manner.
4. Have set points of your relationships
Make sure you have certain set-points in your love relationship and stay in discipline of not going below them. For me I have a set point of one date night per week/one movie per week. These should not be compromised, but if you do end up falling behind a set-point, make sure you add a little extra next time to gear yourself back. This will keep you from feeling stagnated.
5. Have fun and pick up an activity together religiously
Relationships don’t have to be full of do’s and don’ts nor be completely serious – make them as fun as you can, and let loose your fun inertia by engaging in activities you like together and keeping it light. It could be anything from meditating together to exploring caves. Just remember to keep the fun alive.
These techniques help enhance your relationship bond.
And, who knows … you might just manage to get your happily ever after!!!!!!!